I think every mom has been there. You know, wondering when the last time you showered was. Did you wash your hair? Pick up a shirt and sniff. Clean enough to get through the day. You think, “I really should paint my nails” or “I wish I could take a bath” or “I need to start working out”. But, by the end of the day, you are so wiped out from caring for every little need of your tiny person (or people) that all of that sounds like just another thing on your to-do list. Especially because you have mountains of laundry and dishes and toys strewn all over the floor that need tending to. Trust me. I know parenting can take it out of you. Literally, as I was typing this, I went to check on my “napping” 3 year old. He had pooped in a hat and then dumped it on his floor. Not kidding. I now know why God made kids so stinking adorable.
But, I do want to tell you that you are an important priority. You need to take care of yourself after you’ve been cleaning up poo all. day. long. It took me some time to figure this out. I’m still figuring it out. I was totally that mom who didn’t shower for days (okay maybe I’m still her sometimes) and wore sweats every day with bitten down finger nails, and stopped working out because I didn’t have the time or energy to take care of myself. Either my kid(s) weren’t napping or I didn’t get a full night’s sleep or I had so much to do around the house that I was drowning. I had sort of lost who I was as a stand-alone person. I thought I was doing okay. I was surviving, wasn’t I?
I will preface with this. I never have been a girly-girl. I don’t really like to get dressed up, put a lot of makeup on or do my hair. It’s just not me. But that isn’t to say that I never took care of myself. Before I had kids, I would take baths regularly (and showers daily), I would paint my nails weekly (maybe more!), workout, and (gasp!) even shave my legs daily! Then, it seems, once you have kids, all that spare time goes to them. In the beginning you are a mom-bie with endless feedings and no sleep at night. As they get older, you are worrying about doing activities with them and feeding them the right food and making sure the house is somewhat presentable. Plus, you have a husband as well! He needs to eat, too!
I’m definitely not saying you should skirt your duties as a mom/wife. But, cut yourself some slack. Here are a few ways I put this into action and you can too!
1. Do something to take care of your appearance.
Once a week, after I put the kids to bed, I try to paint my nails. If the house is messy or there are dishes to be done, they can wait. I take 2-3 hours and just paint and sit until they are dry. I rent a movie with John or just sit in sweet silence! Then all week, I feel so much better about myself because my nails are painted and I look like I have my stuff together (ha!) because I found time to paint my nails. It’s amazing what just one little thing can do for you! Better yet, get your kids to give you a pedicure! 😉
P.S. My current favorite polish color, that I plan on stealing from my sister (don’t tell her though), is Essie’s Tart Deco. (photo via)
2. Do something to take care of your body.
I try, and have gotten pretty good at, doing some sort of exercise regularly. Whether it is taking the kids for a walk, running, or doing yoga (I love Yoga with Adriene on YouTube FYI). Also, try to eat healthy foods. This is a tough one because it’s so easy to just grab something you didn’t have to make! Try to have fresh fruits and veggies prepped and ready to eat when you realize you haven’t eaten all day!
3. Do something creative.
If you didn’t already know this about me, I love making stuff! It’s so relaxing for me to paint something. Obviously, I’ve been working on my wood signs and watercolors lately, which is really therapeutic! I’ve also been practicing hand lettering and digital design. Learning new techniques and just playing around! It makes me feel like I’ve had a productive day when I do something creative. Plus, it makes me a happier person. 🙂 And a bonus if I can do this outside on a nice day!
4. Go out with your friends.
Sometimes there is nothing I need more than to sit at a restaurant with a handful of my girlfriends, eating fried cheesecake! Sure, we always end up talking about our kids, but it’s adult conversation without interruption of somebody being hungry or needing to go to the bathroom. My little mom’s group goes out together at least once a month. Lately, we’ve been feeling more adventurous and going a few times. I don’t know what I’d do without these amazing women who keep me sane and knowing I’m not the only one whose kids are a little crazy sometimes.
5. Hang out with your husband
Rent a movie (while you paint your nails)! Don’t talk about the kids (this is hard for me since I spend all day, everyday with them. I’m working on it!), money or things that need to get done! Plan a weekend trip or a date night and talk about the things you’d like to do. Even if you can’t take a trip right now, it’s still fun to dream of places you’d like to go! John wants to take a cross-country trip out West at some point when the kids are older, so we have discussed the places we’d like to stop along the way! It’s a ways off, but still fun to think about!
These are all things that work for me. Maybe something else will work for you! Just take the time to get to know yourself again and think of things that might help you in caring for yourself. Take a break from the hustle of daily life and pretend your on vacation for an evening 🙂
I hope these tips help! Share with someone you know is struggling to find time for themselves 🙂 It really is a game-changer to spoil yourself!
xo
Sam
